Thursday, February 20, 2014
Yesterday evening, I wasn't in the best mood ever. I wasn't happy with the way I had been treated in several different situations by multiple people, and I was feeling pretty discouraged. I believe I had every right to be unhappy with the way I had been treated, and yet I found myself feeling guilty. Guilty because I felt that I was not acting like a "good Christian". I felt that I should be able to immediately forgive those who had mistreated me and skip happily back into the world and continue to "be the light". I was quite unhappy with myself for failing to do this, and I ended my day feeling discouraged.
But now that I have had time to think about it, I have realized something. I admit I haven't read the whole thing, but I don't think the Bible ever says "you must be in a good mood all the time". In fact, I think it says somewhere in there "In your anger, do not sin." I love that verse because it acknowledges that we as humans will experience negative emotions. Just because I have faith in God does not mean I am immune to all of the negative things that happen in the world. Just like any other person, I will have bad days. As much as I want to "be the light", some days I just feel cloudy. So how should I deal with that?
I don't know the officially correct answer. After all, I'm just a college freshman writing a blog so I can have an outlet for my overactive mind. What I do know is that God offers everyone these two really great things, grace and forgiveness, and they are unlimited. Grace, or "the free and unmerited favor of God", takes away the need for me to never mess up. No matter how many times I fail, God won't stop loving me. That really takes the pressure off of me. This fear of messing up that I have is totally pointless, and I need to work on getting rid of it.