Friday, January 1, 2016

Three Things I Learned in 2015

As a new year begins, many people are making resolutions and thinking about what they want to accomplish in 2016. I decided to join in that tradition in my own way, by reflecting on the lessons I learned last year and how I want to put them to good use this year. There is a common theme in the headings that some of you may recognize, thanks to my habit of listening to music while I write.

1. Shake it Off
One of my worst moments of 2015 was losing a job that I worked very hard to do my best at. When I lost that job back in September, some things were said to me that made me question everything I thought I knew about the career I might want, and I'm guilty of replaying those things in my mind almost every day. Yes, it was unfair, not to mention totally bizarre. I wish I could tell you in detail just how bizarre it was, but I'd probably regret putting that on the internet. But I left that job knowing I had tried my absolute best, and although I miss the children I left behind, I have a much better work environment now. As hard as it is for me to admit it, I think losing that job was a blessing. People are so nice to me at work, and I never get blamed for things that aren't under my control. I don't have a glamorous job, but it's exactly what I need right now. This year, I will stop mentally replaying every decision I made at my last job, and all of the negative things that were said when I lost it, and I'll stop doubting everything I do at my current and future jobs. This year, I'll shake that off.

2. Begin Again
I've discovered recently that I don't know as much about friendship as I thought I did. I got so used to the catty, passive-aggressive drama of the teenage years that I really thought that's just how friendship was supposed to be. But thankfully, I have friends now that have shown me that I was wrong about that. I have discovered that there are people who really value my friendship, appreciate spending time with me, and most importantly make me a better person. I really believe now that it's better to have a few really true friends than a lot of fake ones. I know that it's important to love everyone, but I am learning to have higher standards when it comes to who I devote my time to. I've learned that true friends communicate. They laugh and cry together, and pray for each other. I've learned that if you find you are not surrounded by people who encourage you to be the best version of yourself, it's perfectly fine to turn around and begin again.

3. Breathe
I've done a good job tricking myself into thinking my faith is strong. I can write convincing blog posts about what I say I believe in all day long. But a common theme in the two points above proves otherwise. I've tried to be in control of everything because I think I know what's best for me. But if everything had gone the way I thought it should, I would have missed out on so many good things. I'm not in control, and that's a good thing. This year, I want to really believe that.