Monday, September 15, 2014

Everything is Okay.

I wanted to start off with an apology. In my post a few days ago called "Allowing Imperfection" I said some things that should have gone unsaid. I was stressed over school and knowing there was a doctor's appointment in my future, and the best way I know how to deal with stress is through writing. Unfortunately my stress resulted in me saying some things that weren't very nice. I want you all to know that I appreciate the fact that you take the time to read this, and you're not intruding on my life by doing so. It's my choice to write, and I am thankful that it is your choice to read. You're not being nosy, you're just being supportive and I appreciate that. Also, it means so much to me when people compliment my writing, and if you find it wise or insightful then I really appreciate that, and I love reading your comments and hearing your take on my posts, it is probably my favorite part of blogging. The truth is, I'm just not very good at taking compliments, and I should work on that. So, I hope you will accept my apology, and that I haven't offended anyone permanently.
Now, let's get to the main point. I wanted to document this moment because right now, at this very second, everything is okay. That's a very rare thing, and I often don't take time to appreciate moments like this. Right now, my doctor is happy with my progress since my surgery and doesn't need to see me again soon, I have plans with friends later this week, and there are no major problems to worry about. This doesn't mean that I don't have little worries on my mind, or that I have completely accepted that the trip I missed this summer is something I will never get back. But right now, at this very second, I am happy, and I want to remember this moment.
In a few minutes I will go to my long night class, and judging from my past experience in that class, there is about a 99% chance that I will get annoyed at some point during those two to three hours (the time varies depending on the professors mood). Yes, very soon this moment of contentedness will probably be broken, but I wanted to remember it. I am learning very slowly that nobody is promised anything outside of this very second, and that nobody except God can completely control what happens next. I don't know what the future holds, and I'm still in the process of letting go of the past, but right here, in this very moment called now, everything is okay.

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