Sometimes I worry that I am too open about my emotions on this blog. Since I'm not sure who exactly is reading it, I sometimes worry that I will say something that will somehow go wrong and cause trouble. But for me, it is hard to write without exposing my emotions. Writing is the way I express my emotions, so I just always pray that what I post will be something that glorifies God, and does not have a negative affect on me or the people who read it.
Today I am going to continue to share with you my emotions, because I want to talk about something I feel strongly about, youth group. Before I came to college, my youth group really was one of the most important parts of my life. For a year or so, our church didn't have official youth leaders, and when we got three new leaders, I was determined not to form an emotional attachment to them. I had learned from past experience that realistically, youth leaders are only temporary. I don't say that to be mean or disrespectful, I just feel like it's a fact. So when we got three new youth leaders, I decided that I would be polite and respectful to them, but I would not form an emotional bond of any kind with them, Now, anyone that knows me and knows who I'm friends with can tell you that I obviously failed at that.
During my senior year, youth group was my comfort zone. I knew that on Thursday nights, I would be with people who loved me and treated me well. I knew that I would learn things that would help my faith grow stronger. I soon realized that I was the oldest member of the group, which became I role I take very seriously. It is through youth group, and the role of being the oldest that I started to feel that God had a plan for me that involved leadership of children or youth. This is something that I have had to put a lot of thought into, because I had planned on having a career in journalism. I had taken every opportunity I could find at school and in the community to hone my skills as a journalist. I was becoming confident in that area, so when I felt that God was calling me away from it, I was anxious. At this point, I'm not sure exactly what the future will hold. I think I know what I want to do, but I think there will always need to be a writing opportunity in my life, for the sake of my sanity.
Coming back to my original point, I am so thankful for my youth group, and now I realize how important a group like that is in a teenager's life. I know that it won't always be exactly like it is now, and I'm not mad at anyone over that. No matter what the future holds, I am so thankful for my years with the Sheep of Salem. Those really were some of the best times of my life.