I should probably warn you that I might not make much sense today. After writing an 8 page research paper on an extremely uninteresting topic, I'm not sure my brain can form any more logical sentences, but I'll try. I do complain a lot about it, but there's something exciting about writing these long stressful college papers. Spending long hours in a library citing scholarly journals is something that I have to admit I find a strange enjoyment in. It makes me feel like a real writer. Anyway, now that you know this might not make sense, I'll get to my point.
It seems to me sometimes that I am living in the wrong generation. People are always saying that I'm wise, but wisdom doesn't really seem to apply to my age group. I like that people associate that trait with me, but I can never figure out how to take advantage of it. Wisdom seems to be for older people who have been around for a long time and have learned from life experiences. Society does not expect college students to be wise. Our society assumes that college is a time to go wild and experiment with crazy and sometimes dangerous things, and then we can laugh about it later if we survive. My problem with this is that I just don't get it sometimes.Things that other people my age think are fun sometimes just don't logically make sense to me.For example, I sort of know what it's like to be "in an altered state" because I have been on multiple painkillers after I had surgery, and I was confused and grumpy. I just don't see the fun in that. Now, I don't even know if those two things can really be compared to each other, but either way it makes me think. I guess there's a part of me that wants to be wild. I have a little bit of a rebellious streak somewhere in me that wants to do crazy things, but the logical "wise" side usually shuts it up.
I have struggled with these thoughts a lot. A part of me worries that I am being too serious and missing out on something. But after thinking about it for a long time, I realized something. Nowhere in anything I've learned from my parents, or at church, or reading the Bible have I heard that it's okay to do the wrong thing because you're young. That's just something society believes, and I don't have to go along with it. So for now, I'll just try to stick with what I know is right. I'm sure at times I will do some dumb things that I know I shouldn't just because "I'm in college!", but I hope those occasions are rare. And who knows, maybe some day I will figure out a way to accommodate that little rebellious streak that insists on popping up from time to time